It was a typical day
Of all work and no play,
For this cop of chain and ball.
He'd hide over a hill
Ready for the kill,
To nail someone's hide to the wall.
He was an arrogant man
With nary a fan,
Most didn't like him at all.
He'd arrest you sober
For just one mile over,
And he loved to make you crawl.
He lived for plain clothes
Drove an unmarked Olds,
Considered his job as fun.
A bad super trooper
With a radar snooper,
Out to ruin your weekend run.
Then a 'vette flashed by
His transmission in 'high',
His license plate read "I Pass."
So trooper pulled out
The radar left no doubt,
That 'vette was driving too fast.
Fate awaited shamus
In a race now famous,
This trooper had met his match.
With pedal kicked down
He grinned like a clown,
He thought this a routine catch.
Over dirt roads and paved,
The chase became grave,
Far into the night they ran.
With both engines screaming
Trooper began scheming,
He was bent on catching his man.
Sure, the trooper had nerve,
As the 'vette cut the curves
Ignoring the on-coming traffic.
But who would pay this price?
Trooper crossed himself twice,
Although he was an agnostic.
Then he radioed ahead
And they still swear he said,
"Pull a semi 'cross the road".
He had reached his fill
This dumb punk he'd kill
He checked his gun for load.
In a night full of turns
And still nobody burned,
This legend was near its end.
When they came into sight
That morning's first light,
Four headlights came around the bend.
But only two flashed by
His deputies knew he'd die,
Watching the vanishing 'vette.
It simply vaporized.
Too late trooper realized,
For certain he had lost this bet.
At a hundred and eight,
With feet on the brake,
The top sheared off to the doors.
During the crash he was thrown,
As the chassis rolled on,
Laughing historically onto the floor.
From that day to this
He lives in God's bliss,
Never more the mean bruiser.
He's polite and lenient,
Never inconvenient,
In a brand new police cruiser.
terry miller
Picture by: Mark Shagal. Public Domain
