We're Not Okay

We're Not Okay

I think about the parents.  

After September 11, I thought about the parents on the plane telling their children, "It's all right," when they knew it wasn't. 

After October 7, I thought about the parents, struggling to keep their children quiet.  

When I say, "I thought about them," I mean, I cried until I threw up, again and again. I mean, I walked around my house like a zombie. I mean, I laid awake at night.  

I think about Shiri, as we all do, clutching her boys. Terrified. And telling them, "It's all right, I'm here. It's all right, don't cry." 

I think about her and I can't breathe.  

I think about Yarden, broken so completely and terribly that he may never recover.  

I think about how much my heart hurts and how much a heart can hurt and how much pain a body can hold inside and how many tears you can choke back. 

I think about how we try to pretend that we are okay. 

I think about how we are a generation that will carry these scars and pass them on, the way we pass on our traditions and our love.  

I think about the parents, all the parents, desperately telling their children that it will be okay.  

It's not okay. We're not okay. 

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