It has been reported1 that at least 50 survivors of the Simchat Torah Oct 7 massacre have committed suicide. The suicide note below from one of those people will help you understand why.
We are making the book Depressed People of the Bible available in Israel during the month of Elul (starting Sept 3) for only 99 cents (e-book, regularly $10) to help them through this time of grief and depression, especially with the 1 year anniversary of Oct 7 coming soon. Please support these efforts to get this book to the people of Israel.
Translated from Hebrew, below is the suicide note in full.
“Hey you, please forgive me!
It all started on Thursday, we were dancing and having fun, and come Friday — so much fun all around, seeing friends we haven’t seen in years — we all met to dance and celebrate life. Come Saturday morning, the sun begins to rise, it’s so beautiful as it starts to shine all over everyone.
We’re dancing and happy, hugging, and some of my friends start to leave. Suddenly, rockets start flying over us, I know this, this is my life — I’m from the South. But then there are paragliders — I hope nothing happens to them…
Then starts the gunfire — what is going on?
We see the truck coming, paratroopers dressed in foreign uniforms — they are killing everyone.
They just killed Shay, they killed Adi.. They’re kidnapping that girl, who is sitting there hugging her murdered boyfriend. Suddenly you run to the bushes where I sit and hide, not uttering a sound from my lips.
You’re in the bush next to me, so close, the cries gush out from within you. A terrorist is right above the bush I’m hiding in and I pray he won’t see me, I pray so hard, something I haven’t done my entire life… God can hear my prayer.
But you won’t stop crying out loud because with every second, someone gets shot and murdered.
They saw you, they’re dragging you out of the bushes. They’re four and you’re one.
You scream for help.
One of them punches you to silence you, and you try to fight them while looking towards my direction, for me to save you.
But if I step out, we will both get murdered. I want to live! I sit there silently, they start undressing you! I’m crying, I feel like I need to scream but a hand silences me! Maybe it’s the hand of God, or I don’t know who…
They turn you on your stomach and they start raping you, one by one. They turn you around again and they yell at you in English, they want you to see for yourself how they have defeated you. You try to crawl in my direction and I pray for something to happen, for someone to kill them so you can get out alive, but as you crawl towards me and they’re on top of you — the shot comes.
They murdered you, but before they murdered your body they murdered your soul.
I sat there, in the bushes, for hours, I did not come out. I saw a bottle of water next to you and I was so incredibly thirsty, but I couldn’t bear the thought that I should have saved you, so how can I be so disrespectful and drink your water?
I have reached rock bottom, I can’t live anymore. Your look follows me every single day — in the shower, in my sleep, in my room. I couldn’t go back to work, I wasn’t able to.
I’ve been to your house. I didn’t tell your parents what you’ve been through, but they’ve been told that your body was abused, I was a witness.
I ask for your forgiveness.
I am coming to you, to the next great world, I promise to save you there and protect you. Please forgive me!
And don’t worry, I left a note for my family telling them how much I love them, and thanking them for the life they gave me.
My sister is having a baby, I thought about sticking around to get to know my nephew, but I don’t think he should know the uncle that couldn’t save you.
It’s okay, I’ll watch him from above.”
After reading this letter my heart aches. I can mentally understand the helplessness, guilt, and trauma this person experienced; but not having been in his shoes I can never fully know it. Still, I believe there is a better way out of the trauma than suicide. Among the many things that would have been helpful to this dear person would be The book Depressed People of the Bible. Not only could this book have been helpful for this person, but his family, including his sister and newborn nephew, need to be encouraged by the people in the Bible who experienced such grief and difficulties. Help us get this book out to as many people as possible before another suicide, before another person has to experience another day of depression.
Please donate now.
